Nicotine

Problems are rampant;
Nothing is going as planned -
My plan.
Left is right, up is down
Stomach churning,
Palms sweating.
Inhale.
But for the few moments,
Moments of euphoria -
I'm free from the chains of the world
Exhale.
For these few moments,
Everything seems alright.
Inhale.
For these few moments,
I'm the master of my life.
Exhale.
For these few moments,
I'm alive.
I feel alive.
Life flows within me.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Everything is going to be alright after all;
At least for these few moments.

galaxies

The skies, as with the sea; the galaxy: so vast.
I have it all, all to me.
I am the world, the world is me;
Endless and limitless.
Out there for us, you and I,
Only shame is
There's no one to explore it with -
Well at least, for me.

Day 0

Day 00

I'm pretty conflicted about this decision to quit smoking. I've realised (with the help of Andy and Peisheng) that I'm going too fast on smoking. I'm now currently at ~8 sticks per day. This adds up to about $4.80 per day.

Hopefully I will be able to keep strong and hold on to whatever motivation that's in me to give it up. I'll list some things below that I will refer to again when my will is running low.

Basically, I will be writing a letter to myself to encourage future me to give up the sticks.

Hey Jerome,

It's Jerome of 20/1/2014. I know what you're thinking right now. You want a stick of IceBlast. Maybe you'll even settle for a BlackMenthol right now, who knows? Keep it up. You've laid off the sticks for a few days now(?) and I'm sure that you'll be able to keep it up.

Remember that time when you tried nofap? 18 days i believe. Jerome, you went 18 days without touching yourself. I'm sure you can give this up. Still not convinced? Think about your family - Mum doesn't know. Dad doesn't know. Brother is definitely not proud of me. Don't let them down once again. Even though this sounds cliche but you know that you love them. Don't puff that shit anymore Jerome. You've went x days without it, you can go for more.

Still not convinced? Let me remind you. As I'm typing this right now, I am craving for a smoke. Just a small cigarette that will give me euphoria. Smoke that sinus away. I'm sure when you're reading this Jerome, that feeling will intensify. Don't. Give. Up.

Jerome. You're not well to do. $12.10 every 2 days is not contributing to that. You owe people money and you know it. You feel bad. In fact, I'm feeling bad for you right now. $4.80 per day can result to $24 dollars a week. One month and you can save $92 dollars. Remember that sevenfriday watch that you want? I know man, I want it too. Here's a picture of it to motivate you. In fifteen months, you'll be able to pay for that by yourself. Think about it bro, a sevenfriday watch that you own, that you paid for.



Lastly, think about your friends. If you're craving it to the point where you're willing to give up sevenfriday, think about your friends man. They genuinely care about you. I know, social smoking is fine yadayada. You started off as a social smoker right? What the fuck happened along the way man? You smoked 18 sticks just last friday.

Don't go back down the same path. Don't take a stick to congratulate yourself man. No. Excuses. If you're bored play tiny tower or dragonsvale. You know you hate the second hand smoke smell.

If you smoke you'll cover your own scent Jerome. What the point of spraying cologne when you go school then? I can assure you (not really) that you will smell better if you stop smoking you nut.

Your chapped lips? I'm pretty sure that they'll go away if you stop.

Please think about it again Jerome. Is it worth it giving up the x days of effort that you've put in to stop smoking just for a quick high? Let me tell you this - the more I'm typing the more hyped that I become. I hope that when you read this you will feel what I'm feeling right now, and that you will not succumb to that fucking stick of nicotine.

Much love as always,

Jerome as of 20/1/2014
xoxo


okie edit: Jerome when you're out with friends/partying you can smoke but not so much k heh

-

"Even if everyone on the planet was a hard worker and attended college, our society would still need people to make our fries, serve our coffees, or deliver our pizzas. We like to think that people on the bottom of society deserve to be there and can only move up if they worked harder, but someone has to lose."

food for thought

Love?

Hi all it's me again.

Things have been pretty stable for me recently, and nothing has really caught my attention. So.... the topic that i'm gonna talk about today, is.... love! Yeah not how to achieve love but instead my honest opinion about it.


So, i posted this post on a topic named 'what is love?' last year (yeah i go to forums)


Personally, i feel that there are 2 possible answers. :


It exists. I have seen people get from being friends, to dating, to getting married. Although i have never been in a relationship, i often hear about how people exclaim that they love someone so much that they would die for them, etc. 
This takes some big guts to say. How many of us would actually die for someone? Well love can actually explain that. 
Moreover, i am a Christian. I'm sure all of you have heard how Jesus died for mankind so i would not go through that again. 
If two people do not actually love each other, and that they got together just for fun/entertainment, what keeps them together? I often wonder if love between people would run out. I have read and seen couples who are married for over 50 years, and they still look pretty loving to me. 


It doesn't exist. When people say they love someone, do they just like how that person look or do they actually fall for the person's attitude? 
Are they in love with the person's appearance or actually in love with the person her/himself? So far, no one has been really able to describe love. 
As i have stated earlier, i have not been in a relationship, so i would have no idea. When we 'love' someone, are we just driven by our hormones( Wanting to have sexual intercourse with that person)?Or perhaps we are just bored, and are trying to find something to do to fill up our time. 
I do strongly believe that whatever the human mind set's it willpower to, that human would believe that it can be done is true. So, are we really loving that person, or are we just living in a delusion created by our own minds that we got from hollywood that we are in 'love'?


In conclusion, i would like to go with love exist. This is because i feel that there is a special bond formed between two persons when they are actually in love. This is the only logical reason for any long lasting marriages. 
I believe that small acts of love would slowly ensure the continual growth and strengthening of this bond, while being unfaithful, dishonest, etc would weaken it. Therefore, i believe that love does actually exist and each person has a 'container' of unlimited love to give out. This would mean that each and every one of us are able to love someone to the fullest, if only we want to. 
However, each 'love capsule' can be only filled with other people's love only. Therefore, i believe that it is impossible to love yourself, ( To the extend of dating yourself, etc.) if what i just said makes sense. 




Just my two cents worth. Thank you for your time.








As i've stated up on top, i ended with saying that love exists. However, there are many types of love. I shall try to give you my honest opinion about it.


1. Heavenly love
This type of love is so pure and saturated. It is indeed the ultimate form of love, and it can't be given out by any other humans. Only a heavenly being would be able to give it out. This love, is much much more than giving without expecting anything back. It's almost the 'highest' form of love. One way to imagine this love is to picture all the other types of love, then multiply it by 100. This type of love isn't just 'unconditional' or 'never-ending'. I repeat again, it's definitely much more than that. It's about loving someone, even if it isn't returned. It's about loving someone who hates you. It's about loving someone who persecutes you. It's about loving someone that insults you. You get it. It's such a beautiful thing, and yet many appreciate it.


John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

Famous verse, yet many don't believe in it. He send his one and only son to earth,just to die. Just because he loves us, he is willing to let his son go through such suffering and pain.God actually cares. Wouldn't it be easier just to destroy earth, then create it once again? All the misdeeds and wrong ideas would be destroyed. Never to be seen again. Wouldn't it be so much easier for God to not care? Instead, out of His love for us, He is willing to let his Son go through all that just so we can be saved. Just out of love.

2.Parental love

I believe that this is quite self-explanatory. I trust that all of you have read stories about how parents sacrifice their lives for their child, be it sheltering them during an earthquake, or pushing them away from an oncoming car. Parents are wonderful beings. They are the only relatives that anyone has that would go all out for you. They would take a bullet for you. No matter how their child turns out to be, they would still want the best for them. Even if you're the most despicable criminal on earth, your parents would still see a glimmer of hope in you. Your parents' love is so deep. They can forgive you for insulting them. They can forgive you for beating them. They can forgive you for abandoning them. 


However, this love is not perfect. At times, they will not be there for you. At times, they will say things that would hurt you. At times, they would do things that would hurt you. Yet, despite all this, deep down inside, you still can feel their love for you. You know that they still care for you. You know that they still want you back in their arms. You know. You feel it. 


That is why parental love is such a strong form of love. It's almost comparable to that of a bond between your parents and yourself. A bond which can hold on to you both. A bond so strong that nothing on this earth, not even death, can break.


3.Mutual love

This is the most common type of love. Found everywhere. However, it is also often misunderstood. Well it's more misinterpreted than misunderstood. Many people are so clouded about this subject. This is partly the fault of hollywood, with their 'perfect ideology' of what love should be. Should the hottest boy get together with the cutest girl? As mentioned in my forum post, When people say they love someone, do they just like how that person look or do they actually fall for the person's attitude? Regardless, this form of love is one of the 'more difficult' ones to get. To be able to attain this form of love, you would have to put in a certain amount of effort in your relationship with your partner, and your partner has to contribute equally. Without this giving and receiving, this relationship would never work.

However, even when it's name has been tarnished so many a times, this form of love is still very much powerful. When you're able to see the true form of mutual love, you'd be able to appreciate it. Even though i still do not have the privilege to experience it first hand, i had the honour to witness it from afar. My parents have been married for quite a while now, and they still seem pretty strong together. They rarely have any quarrels and they joke around alot. 

I've read somewhere before that true love has no boundaries. Nothing can separate you from the one you love. Be it the oceans or the sky, if there's true love, there's a way. I believe that mutual love is very very misinterpreted, but once an individual has embraced it, and finds out who he really loves, he shall attain true happiness, for love leads to happiness.

4.Self love

Arguably the most difficult form of love to achieve, self love is a wonderful thing. The reason that it is difficult to get is because, no one would be able to give it to you. Unlike the other forms of love stated above, self love, as the name suggests, is attained when you love yourself. Sounds easy enough? Not so, when you have problems such as depression, insomnia, or other illnesses. Self love is based around respecting yourself. How are you supposed to love others when you can't even love youself? If you intentionally cause harm to yourself, be it cutting ot bruising, would you do the same to others?

If you can turn a blind eye to the path to achieving self love, the reward is truly overwhelming. You would be able to know what's good for you, able to differentiate the rights and the wrongs. All this because you know that you yourself, is as important as anyone else, if not more important. However if the self respect is not there, nothing good can come out of you. You would hate everything around you. As compared to the person with self love, you will not appreciate the sun, your bed, your family, your friends, your job, your belongings, your face, your emotions. Everything will seem pointless to you. 

That is why, self love is the most important one out of everything here. Without it, you will not be able to love anyone else, let alone live life to the fullest. 

Well, those are my thoughts about the different types of love. As far apart they may seem, they are all intertwined together in an elaborate puzzle. The only thing that i have to comment, is that one must dare to go forward and experience it. For if you just read and think, nothing is going to happen. This applies to myself as well :/. 

To be honest, i feel that having a relationship in this period of my life is pointless, and frankly, just a complete waste of time and money. Not to be a wet blanket, but the girl that you're with now would probably not be your future wife. Although it would be comforting to have someone to talk to, someone to cuddle with, there are certain things that are slightly more important. Maybe all of this is just jealous talk hehe. 

Now to add something that is actually relevant to the topic, i feel that love is a vital part of life. Nobody can make it without the power of love boosting them on. It's impossible to go on without love. Just take 2 minutes off and take time to think of the things close to you. Think about the things you love. Think about your parents, your friends, siblings, etc. Are you loving them enough? Is your relationship with them healthy? If not, do something about it, before it all becomes too late.

Cya,

JerBunny.

I'm back. I'm batman. I'm cool.

Heya y'all. Howdy' mate. I am back once again to write about pointless things. This post is going to be extremely pointless, as it just features some of the shit that goes on in my mind.

The first shit that goes on in my mind:

SHARP, Y YOU NO SMART?

Yes. I'm talking about the calculator. I was just sitting in class during amath, and this thought came to me: Why doesn't sharp learn from other electronic devices, and make their calculator chargeable either by power plug or USB? Or even better, make regular software updates? This way, the competition against Casio would be eliminated totally. Of course, there are several pros and cons to this.

Pros.

-No need to waste money to purchase batteries.

-Regular updates = Better calculating. [Updated software, more functions, etc.]

Cons.

-Anything that is electronic and is accessible by computer is hack-able.

-Pupils may cheat. [Insert equations, etc.]

-Some people may not have computers to charge it. [Of course, this can be solved by making the USB Powerpoint plug thingy.]

Even though the cons may be more than the pros, the pros still outweigh the cons. Imagine the money and anxiety saved, when batteries are not needed. No more worrying if the calculator will die on you during the test tomorrow, no more wasting precious chicken chop money on batteries.

Some may argue, saying that Sharp would not earn, as everyone would only have to purchase one calculator and update the software. Well, they could make a programme which would allow users to 'control' their calculator from there. They can decide on what to add into the calculator, what to take out, etc. Some sort of an iTunes for calculators. About the money part, the programme could be ad supported.

Problem=Solved.

So pleaseeee. If anyone working for Sharp, Casio, or any other calculator company, reads this, please work on it immediately. Of course, pay me some money too for the idea. I will sue you!

The second shit that goes on in my mind.

Tubes. When i am a governor or president of some place, that place would be the 'duh shit'. Firstly, i would make sure that everyone has a tube system that would bring them from their home to their workplace. This tube would feature a sound system, and a bed. With this tube, people would be able to get to their workplace even faster. This tube would be powered by clean nuclear energy, which i would clarify on later. These tubes would be constructed in an orderly manner, and would all be located underground. Thus, the city would still look swag-y.

Second thing that i would like to do, is that i would put a glass dome over the city. Some sort like the simpsons movie. However, this dome would be fully air-conditioned. This dome would also be made out of a special material, one which allows heat from the city to escape, and not let the heat outside in. Only certain key areas, such as roads to other cities and airports, would have holes. With this dome, there would be no more rain, and a cool city.

Thirdly, i would build nuclear plants. Nuclear energy is by far the most efficient type of energy. Of course, i would still build wind and sun farms outside of the city for energy too. But that would not be enough. Thus, the need for nuclear energy. Needless to say, i would make sure that the nuclear waste would be disposed the right way.

Just some shitty ideas from me. Hope you enjoy the sneak peak of what is going on inside my head.

G'bye mate,

JEROME

Tee tee tee pew pew pew baboom.

Heya my fellow Jeromeians.

1.The topic that i am going to write about today is..... Inner-self!

By inner-self, i am talking about another person that is exactly the same as you, but with different thinkings/attitudes/personalities.

I believe that the statement above is true. I do believe that there is another Jerome living inside this Jerome. However, i do not know if there are multiple Jeromes inside me.

Well, to clear things up for you, i will list the different types of Jeromes here.

JEROME#1

This Jerome is the Jerome that people usually see. People that don't know me personally. Handsome, cool, attractive, etc. People who know just Jerome usually thinks highly of him. This is because they have never heard him talk before.

JEROME#2

This is the Jerome that my friends know. They know Jerome#1, but their views of him have changed drastically. People who know this Jerome usually are on extreme ends with him. They either love him or hate him. This is because this Jerome is a total asshole.

JEROME#3

Aha. This is the Jerome Jerome. The real me, to be honest. Only the closest of my friends and my family know this Jerome. This Jerome acts naturally around them, because he knows that he can trust them. This Jerome is also abit of an asshole, but he would apologise if he is in the wrong.

Let me explain why i wrote all that.

I'm just trying to explain and prove to you that my point is valid, and that people would act differently around other people. Take me for example. Look at the 3 different types of me. I would appear differently to different groups of people. This is simply because i act differently around them. Sort of a split personality.

Yeah. I'm sort of a two faced asshole hypocrite. To be really honest, i believe that everyone is like that. We would all try to look our best at all times, to everyone, even though we don't look like that. *Ahem Makeup Ahem.*

Well, i have a few paragraphs to clarify myself.

Think about it. Would you really act like yourself on your first date? Would you fart on your first date? If your answer is yes, tell me. I'll remember you in my prayers.

The problem with us is that we tend to deceit others. One lie after another.

Take me for example, AGAIN. If you set me up on a date, *wink*, i would be sure to dress my best. I would do everything that i would not normally do. In other words, i would just show that person the good side of me.

However, if things drag along, i would slowly reveal myself to her. My habits would show up, etc. That is not a good thing.

First impressions always count, but i feel that one should not overdo it. If you act and behave totally opposite of what you really are, once they see through you and your asshole nature, you are done for.

Sorry, but this is not a blog on how to pick up chicks.

What i am saying is, it is perfectly natural and human-like to want to show off/ make a good impression. But, you should not overdo it. It would just make you look like a total jerkface. It is okay to act differently around different people. You can be a jerk to your brother, and yet a kind puppy loving guy around your girlfriend. It is normal, and almost everyone does that.

HOWEVER, if you look at it from another point, it is as though we are wearing masks. Different masks for different occasions. It appears that everyone has an infinite amount of masks, and that we can choose which to wear each day. All the masks look the same, but wearing it would give you a different personality.

The day when someone really mean what they say, is the day when their true face catches the sunlight. Think about it. It's so deep, maybe you can find Adele rolling in there.

Have a good day sir.

Cya,

JEROME.